ANNOUNCEMENT

BREAKING SUPER IMPORTANT* NEWS

S and I have joined the year 2009 2012 and have FINALLY gotten a DVR.

You guys have no idea how monumental this is.

When S and I were getting ready to move in together in 2010, he still had dial-up internet. That he was paying for. With gum money.

I refused to move in with him unless we were able to get normal internet like normal people. He gave in to my demands.

AND NOW WE HAVE DVR.

The End.

*It was originally breaking news.  But then I forgot to post it.  So now it's week old, but still super important.

An Open Letter

Dear Internet (*side eye to Facebook*),

I do not care what the #1 song was on the day you were born.

{ not actually the #1 song the day I was born } 

Hugs,

 

P.S. Could you guys also stop doing the ultrasound as a profile picture thing? They pretty much all look the same.

Wedding Registries v. Baby Registries

When S an I got married, I was fortunate that everyone around me had already gotten married (literally, every one of my college girlfriends was married/had been married for a while and a majority of the girls I knew from high school were married...only in Texas, I guess). I didn't really care what other people thought as far as the wedding was concerned (I knew what I wanted...sorry I'm not sorry), but they were all great about what I should and shouldn't register for.

Don't get the bread maker. Do get the ice cream maker...it's so amazing and you guys will use it all the time! And on and on and on this went. (Side note: I got neither the bread maker nor the ice cream maker.  I also neglected to register for the rice cooker.  So far, no one in our house has died.  Yet.)

Wedding registries are easy. How big is our house? Do we have room to fit this crap? Do we really need a Kitchen-aid Stand Mixer? (Answer: YES) You answer those questions and then you pick the things that you think look the cutest with your other crap. And then you start stalking your registry to see when people bought you stuff wait patiently for the gifts to come in.  Simple.

The rules are so simple.  Register for so many things depending on how many people you are inviting/showers you are having/whatever the formula is you're supposed to follow.

{ Someone really sent me this as part of the wedding planning process.  You know, so we could figure out which wine glasses really went with our lifestyle? Yeah, I don't know either. }

Then comes the baby registry. This is much much trickier (probably because no one has sent me a sensible graphic demonstrating different parenting styles).

In my experience, most everyone has very specific ideas of what will be right for their baby.  If you don't get an angry response for not agreeing, then you typically get the look that says "hope you've been saving for therapy for that kid..."  No one tells you that you will get a divorce if you don't register for sterling silver (we didn't).  All of my girlfriends who were oh-so-helpful with wedding planning/registry, all have very specific ideas on babies (and yes, just about everyone has babies...some of them have more than one).  No two people said similar things.  Even people who chose the same product, chose them for totally different reasons.  And THERE ARE SO MANY CHOICES!  Literally, I looked at the different types of carriers...no clue where to even start. 

One friend of mine told me (with a straight face) that I would need no less than 4 strollers to be functional with a baby.  FOUR STROLLERS?!?!?  In her mind, each had a very different purpose and none of those could overlap.  Look, I'm not judging knocking it...it has worked well for her.  (Side note: she registered for FIVE different sets of china, you know, just in case, so maybe this was my fault for even asking to begin with.) 

And with wedding registries, you are picking gifts for adults.  Consenting adults.  If it turns out you don't like the blender, you deal with it or you get a new one.  It's not a thing.  BUT OH MY GOD WHAT IF THE BABY HATES EVERY SINGLE BOTTLE/PACIFIER/SWING/TOY/HIGH CHAIR YOU BUY FOR HIM/HER?!?!  THEN WHAT?!?!?

 { laser eyes is what }

BABY REGISTRIES ARE JUST SO MUCH DAMN PRESSURE!

All this is to say, what should we register for?  What can't we live without? (Incorrect answer: four different strollers)  Feel free to give me all of your reasons in the comments. 

I interrupt my regularly scheduled blogging hiatus...

...to bring you a very important announcement... 

Happy Small Business Saturday Birthday, to my very first internet friend MODG!  

Go over to her blog IMMEDIATELY and wish her many years of sparkles, countless Asians, unlimited bronzing gel and limited diarrhea. 

Only in Texas.

Last Thursday, we went to the rodeo.

This was the carpet in the stadium (sidenote: this is not just a rodeo venue. it's the same stadium the professional football team plays in.)

Where I've Been.

See that? That is my eyeball.

It's a MIRACLE! I can see. If you're thinking about LASIK, just go do it. I literally could not see the big E at the top of the vision chart before and now I can see 20/15.

(sorry for the shitty iPhone pics, but thanks to S for taking them for me!)

Only in Texas (Houston Edition)

This. Is. Ridiculous.

Remember the Friday before Superbowl when the whole country was crippled by snow? When Dallas had to shut down airports due to several inches of snow and no way to get rid of it? In Houston, the freeways were shut down because of ice and the mayor declared everyone should stay at home.

This was outside my patio Friday morning. The temperature was 29. And there had been NO PRECIPITATION.

The white stuff? Salt. You know, just in case.

Technology Tuesday.

Lame. I know.

Answer this for me, readers...

What do you all think of tumblr?

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about making the switch.

And that's saying something pretty major because I used to HATE tumblr.

Promise to be back soon with some new things to chat about.


UPDATE: Apparently, several of you commented on this, but Blogger never mentioned it to me.

Becki Jacket, why do you think you hate it? I need feedback.

tee, tell me more. This whole thing has me confused.

Kelly, I have no clue. But I think using tumblr would get rid of my short post guilt.

Kitchen FAIL.

Today I was making myself an early lunch (it's Wednesday, so it's not BRUNCH).

The oven beeps telling me the oven has pre-heated and what this is what happens.

{ can you see the handle??? }

{ Even better: when you pulled on the loose side, the whole thing came off. }

Sidenote: Have you guys tried these things? AMAZING.

{ I wasn't paid for this, for the record. But I do accept bribes in the form of chik'n nuggets. }

An Open Letter.

Dear American Apparel,

For a minute there, we were on the outs. But we can be friends again.

At least as friendly as a gal like me can be with an urban hipster like you.

Hugs,