Has anyone ever heard this quote before? I hadn't but Google must be trying to make it back on my good side because that little nugget was offered up as my "Funny Quote of the Day." I think it sensed today's topic brewing in my mind. Nice work, Google. You're not back in the fold quite yet, but it's baby steps.
Funny Quote of the Day - Samuel Goldwyn - "I'm willing to admit that I may not always be right, but I am never wrong."
Which brings me to the subject at hand...
I have bad news for a majority of my readers.
At the time I am typing this, I have received 85 total votes on the Christmas stocking poll. Of those votes, 79% of you were wrong. Completely wrong.
Why would you open stockings first?!? THIS IS WRONG. WRONG. WRONG.
I was hoping you guys would pick up on my subtle subliminal hints I was sending you. Here was my description of before and after: One of us believes that on Christmas morning, stockings should be opened first, BEFORE you get to all of the presents. The theory behind this is that (1) it is a "natural warm-up, an appetizer if you will" (2) heightens the excitement of the main event and (3) provides time for the parents to get ready, wake up, turn on the camera, etc. The stocking holds only novelties and candy. Another person in this relationship believes they should be opened AFTER you have opened everything else. In this scenario, the stocking has all the usual stuff (lottery tickets, candy and whatever else) plus any accessories from the big presents (for example, if Santa left an iPod, there may be an iPod case in your stocking).
The quote marks around part of the before description (it is a "natural warm-up, an appetizer if you will") was my subtle way of telling you I didn't say it. I was trying to further prove my journalistic integrity to you people.
We need to get on the same page here, readers, otherwise I am going to be forced to settle all of my relationship dilemmas in couple's therapy and I don't think S is down with that.
Okay, back to the subject...why would you open stockings first? Why would you want a stocking with only novelties and candy? Wouldn't you rather have an iPod case or blinged out new earbuds or an iTunes gift certificate?*
Stockings are opened after in my family. It is the holding place. S argues that if Santa leaves you an iPod, the iPod case and blingy ear buds would be in the box with the iPod. This is a terrible idea. Quite possibly the worst idea ever. Why wouldn't you want to drag out the Christmas excitement even longer? Lame.
As Martinis or Diaper Genies said in the comments (although I think she may have cheated and voted for "before" but then left me an comment for "after" to try and cover herself): "wow this is a TOUGH one. Let me just make a case for after although I've done both and like before. You're totally done with your gifts and without fail, everytime I forget about the stocking. It's like the best surprise because you think it's over but it's not!"**
Hailey also gets props for putting at the end of her comment about doing it AFTER presents: "I don't know - its just what we have always done!"
Here is the moral of the story: Thanksgiving is S's family's big holiday. If he says we must eat rutabaga on this day, we will eat it. His rules go. By default this leaves me with Christmas, so if I say we do stockings the correct way (AFTER), then that's how it will be.
Thanks, interwebs, for trying your best to be helpful.***
Leave more Christmas or any holiday (including Columbus Day) traditions in the comments. Bonus points if you had to compromise on traditions because of marriage or relationship.
*Please do not send me your complaints about the commercialization of Christmas. I don't want to hear about it. If you send or receive gifts on Christmas, you cannot complain that it has become a retail holiday instead of the Jesus' birthday. The topic of this post is how you open your gifts from Santa, not a moral or religious debate. Thanksomuch.
**Notice how I put quotes around it? That's because I was QUOTING someone.
***Seriously. More people voted than I expected. And I got all sorts of comments and e-mails that were fantastic. So, for real, good job.