11 hours ago
Thursday, September 10, 2009
These days I am engaged to a guy that I find fantastic, but I have dated my fair share of disasters. Being a girl, and a neurotic one at that, after each relationship failed there was that "what happened?" period where every move that was ever made was analyzed (don't say you've never done it...I know you have).
So after the relationship before S finally fizzled, I was looking at what the people in my past had in common.
Common Factors of People I Have Dated (and then stopped dating for one reason or another):
- Light colored eyes (I have blue eyes, so I can see past this one)
- Crazy (I would love to say that I dumped people once I found this out, but what can you do? Hindsight is 20/20)
- LIKED STRAWBERRY ICE CREAM
So you are probably saying, "What's so wrong with strawberry ice cream? I enjoy some Neopolitan now and again." What is wrong with strawberry ice cream? EVERYTHING. The fact that I even have to explain it is disconcerting. (And for the record, if I am eating Neopolitan ice cream, I avoid the strawberry)
Now please don't get me wrong. I have nothing against the strawberry itself. I love strawberry flavored things (strawberry on cheesecake, strawberries in my smoothie, chocolate covered strawberries, strawberry yogurt, strawberry margaritas, you get the idea...), but these guys would seek out strawberry. I remember more than once with each of these dudes sought it out.
For example, my last ex before S and I were driving somewhere and I had a hankering for a milkshake. We pull up to the Wendy's drive-thru and he asks what I want (chocolate) and then he orders a STRAWBERRY FROSTIE for himself. Do you know what this is? Blasphemy. (Wendy's is known for their chocolate frosties. This is a fact. I should have known then...)
My college ex and I once went to the grocery store together and do you know what he put in the cart (I am sure at this point in the story you could guess)? STRRAWBERRY ICE CREAM. Not vanilla with strawberry pieces (acceptable), but PINK STRAWBERRY ICE CREAM.
I could go on and on about this topic, but I think you have the point.
Moral of the story: Ladies, if you are dating a guy and he orders strawberry ice cream, run (don't walk) out of the door.
I am serious though. Poll your friends and loved ones. See who would seek out strawberry ice cream. In my experience, the only ones who answer yes to seeking it out are, in fact, crazy.
You're welcome in advance.
Feel free to share your own horror stories in the comments.
hugs, sarah at 3:39 PM