Tuesday, February 16, 2010

In Defense of Sarcasm.

When I started writing this post, it was going to be about people being too uptight about what other people wrote. As a blogger, you choose to put yourself out on the internet. In making that choice, you also have to be open to potential criticisms people make about you.

It was going to be sort of generic and talk about some random things that I have noticed lately. Mainly, too much unnecessary drama. People copying each other. People getting hurt feelings. People starting rumors about other people that they have only met three times in their life. The list goes on...

A few weeks ago, a blogger got her feelings hurt after she posted pictures from a party. Here is what the commenter said:

"I am SURE you are a wonderful girl. That is a beautiful dress and your hair is gorgeous but the color is WAY too light blonde for your skintone. Your roots and eyebrows look BLACK and that is not flattering. It washes you out. You need something less severe. You will be so glad you listened when it comes time to look back on your wedding photos years from now. Instead of saying what I was thinking? You'll be pleased."

In my opinion (for what it's worth), this commenter wasn't being rude. She was giving AN OPINION. The blogger posted pictures of herself on the internet and a reader left HER OPINION. It's the blogger's right to have hurt feelings, but you can't get pissed that someone left an opinion. You put it out there. If you are looking for compliments only, maybe you should make your blog private. My only problem with the above comment is that the person chose to remain anonymous. If you are going to have an opinion, make it count and put your name behind it. Otherwise, what's the point.

But then today there was another incident...

A blogger got her ass chewed for making jokes involving another blogger. She was called judgmental and mean, among other things. Here is a comment that was left on her post:

"So you're a bitch. And you internet bully. And you hate junior league, sororities, and all things deemed "high society".

Can't we all just hug it out?

I hate Lilly, but I am in the junior league and was in a sorority. I cuss and wear black and despise lobsters on pants.

But was this post really necessary? Do you even know the person you're hating on? Because I know if I received an email like yours, I wouldn't have responded either. It's clear you're trying to make fun of her. Why would she respond? And an entire post? Really?

Not to mention, you've just made this preppy blogger even more popular. You're fueling readership to her blog. And I can tell you, as someone that knows her in person, she absolutely doesn't care.

It's sad really..."

There were several nasty comments left including things like:

"Aside from all things pink & green, "preppy" and Lilly related, why do you feel the need to attack someone that you don't know?

I personally know this blogger and what you say is completely untrue. And just to make it very clear I don’t own a single piece of Lilly so the fact that we are friends has nothing to do with pink and green or Lilly. It’s pretty clear from your snarky email that you did not genuinely want to come to the Lilly Warehouse sale so who could blame her for not responding to you email.

Just because someone happens to be preppy or like Lilly doesn’t mean that they deserve to have hatred spewed towards them. The same could be said about your creepy obsession with Suri Cruise, does warrant an attack because you are some sicko???? Everyone has different things that they are interested in……"

"I'm not preppy at all. Im anti-preppy but that doesn't mean I exclude preppy people from my life just because they wear Lilly."


NEWSFLASH: being a bitch to someone you think was a bitch doesn't make you right either.

Here's the thing. I don't condone people being mean to each other. I really don't. (Sidenote: one of my biggest pet peeves in life is when someone is attempting to offend or insult another person and doesn't use the appropriate grammar. Kills me.) But what's wrong with honesty and what's so wrong with making a joke or being sarcastic. No one complained when the jokes were about Asians or fat people and no one came to the defense of babies, but you literally say something harmless and people flip their shit. Does this make any sense to anyone?

Is it weird that she is obsessed with Suri? Probably. But it is certainly no more weird than my obsession with the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. And without a doubt less weird than an obsession with pastel prints as an adult. But you know what? To each is own.

This issue turned much bigger than it needed to. These people who were supposedly "defending" their friend turned around and did the very thing they accused MODG of doing. Do me a favor. Go read THIS POST. But after you do that, make sure to check out the rest of her blog.

You'll notice nowhere in the post does she say "I HATE ANYONE WHO IS IN THE JUNIOR LEAGUE AND LIKES LILLY PULITZER. THEY ARE AWFUL AND SHOULD HAVE TO SPEND THE REST OF THEIR LIVES LISTENING TO NICKLEBACK." All she says is that Lilly might hate her and she got the side-eye in the Lilly store and that a certain blogger never responded to her e-mail. (And obvs she can't hate the Junior League because I am in the Junior League and we are internet besties.)

True, she says: "So MODG readers. Go to her blog and tell her that she hurt my feelings and also try and prank call her if you can. That's the true reward for pissing me off. I mean be nice, I guess." But see, that is a little something called SARCASM. It's new, so maybe you have never heard of it. No big deal.

And she talks about the blogger in question just like she talks about everyone else. No one came to my defense when she called me a bitch, but then again no one has come to her defense when I called her a bitch. Why is this scenario different? Why is it appropriate to talk shit now of all times?

I am convinced that grown-ass adults can't get over shit. Blogging is not high school. That especially goes for you. And you.


Everyone's hypersensitivity is zapping my will to blog.

As I have said before, if you don't like what someone says, don't read it.




P. S. If you are trying to insult someone, don't use the word "classy." For the love, it makes you sound like Vicki Gunvelson from Real Housewives and it makes me laugh at you behind your back.
sarah (signature)

54 comments:

mrs. darling said...

i've always believed that individuals who cannot comprehend sarcasm are sort of ignorant. this preppy drama today proved my theory completely correct. love how you defended your bestie in a really fabulous way!

p.s. i'm sort of freaked out by how NASTY people can be!

Karls said...

Man! People seriously need to lighten up and take a joke. If you're putting it out there, expect to get some responses you don't like... people in real life have their opinion so of course peeps in the blogosphere do. I'm 110 percent with you! If you don't like it, don't read it.

Levon said...

Hey hag, i like Nickelback...actually, that guys voice makes me a little wet.
I read MODG's post, before you even posted this...i didnt read the comments though. I didnt think she was anymore bitchy than usual. HA! I did write a mean comment to her one time and she deleted the F-ing thing!
MODG, if you're reading this...
I'm sorry. I didnt mean it when i said you looked like a tard with bangs. It was a mere slice of jocularity... Please forgive me.

XOXO
~Levon

P.S. Way to have your girls back ALME...you are THE SHIT.

Kelly @ Dare to be Domestic said...

Well put Sarah. I now see why you and MODG are internet/blog besties! I agree with you completely.

And I had no idea you were obsessed with the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders.

Brown Girl said...

These all sound like some classy people. ;) I don't do drama.

Mrs. Everlasting said...

Sarah - I have enjoyed getting to know you from your blog and appreciate that you frequently comment and seem to enjoy mine as well. This issue though? I think that drawing such a firm line in the sand when people stand up for their friends (using their names, not hiding behind anything) and calling their behavior inappropriate can get really dicey. I responded to the other post as well and I am going to quote myself here:

"This type of 7th grade let me get my Mean Girls to go after you because we're different and I can't manage to embrace that bullshit needs to end.

I was in a sorority, joined JL, love my oversized pearls, and (gasp!) own no Lily. In fact, I find bright pink & green not to be all that flattering. There are a lot of blogs I come across that I don't like. And you know what? I'm sure people don't like mine. But there's this amazing thing that exists and it's called maturity. We use it to move on and find something we do like rather than be cruel to someone else."

The reality of the situation is that as sarcastic as the original post may have been it resulted in many, many comments bashing the other blogger and also leaving cruel remarks on her site.

I firmly believe that 90% of those people, had they found her site another way, would have looked at it, thought "well, this isn't my cup of tea" and moved on. What happened was instigated by MODG and honestly? If you dish it out, you really can't complain about people having a problem with it and responding as such. Isn't that exactly the freedom of speech you are citing that your friend has in the original post?

Confessions of a Mother, Lawyer & Crazy Woman said...

I want that sign for my house.

Just Add Walter said...

wow people really need to get over themselves... I can't believe they had that strong of a reaction of what MODG said... GROW UP!!!!

Jenny DB said...

BAHAH I love: THEY ARE AWFUL AND SHOULD HAVE TO SPEND THE REST OF THEIR LIVES LISTENING TO NICKLEBACK.

nickelback. rofl.

SLynnRo said...

"As I have said before, if you don't like what someone says, don't read it."

Excellent point. And likely the same thought process the original blogger was utilizing when she got the email.

Again, I could give a shit about your thoughts on Lily, or JL or pink and green or whatever the fuck. I don't like asking people to go pick on someone else for no reason. Nothing more, nothing less. If you don't understand that, well...I don't know what to say about you. This particular post is a part of a collection of pointless mean behavior, in lieu of actual content, that is a problem much larger than any one individual incident.

It's certainly true, I don't know you or that other blogger. But I don't need a context to determine what I think of this behavior.

amy kelinda said...

I'm going to go ahead and quote Oscar Wilde here because I have nothing else to say: "People are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously."

It's time we all simmered down a bit.

Natalie said...

I totally agree on the anonymous bullshit. If you think the statement is important enough to share, at least have the balls to own it.

When did it become wrong to be sarcastic? It's her blog, her opinion. If the people don't like it, don't read it. period. There was no attack anywhere in the original post. The attacking came from the commentors.

Can't we all grow up?

Kiera said...

thank my lucky stars you finally put some links up n this whole debacle.

youre so diplomatic. with the little jab in at the end. funny.

J. said...

Way to have your bestie's back... it's because of girls- and the friendships that are made- that I blog.

jv726 said...

I always hoped this kind of drama ended after high school, maybe college, but clearly with women it goes much further which is really unfortunate.
I agree with your post completely...I hope people can learn to understand a little sarcasm!

Cee said...

Amen to that and long live sarcasm, being blunt, and having an opinion.

Random question, and you can email me about this or don't respond if you don't want to get into it (I won't care)...but the two blogs you linked to regarding high school...did something happen there? I read one of them and get some mixed feelings. Anyways I was just curious.

Sparkle love to you and MODG! You girls are the best :)

Mojito Maven said...

Well my inbox was flooded this morning from people pointing me to your site. So here I am.

First, Cee, I am the first green comment she highlighted. Also, I love how people are getting mad I called her a bitch. She called herself a bitch first, both in email and on her blog.

Anyway, that really isn't the point in all this. I don't care how she feels about Lilly, or JL, or sororities, or whatever.

My only problem was that she called out another blogger by name and asked people to go to her site and leave mean comments (which people did do). She can be sarcastic without doing that. She could have said that her feelings were hurt that she emailed a preppy blogger and she didn't respond. She didn't have to direct people to her site to tear her down. That was hateful in my opinion. To me, it felt like she was tearing down another blogger for the sake of humor. I don't find that funny and if people do find that funny, then it's probably best they read your blogs and stay away from mine.

I just think if the situation was reversed and someone wrote that about either of you, both of you would have been offended and hurt (just like I would have been).

That's the last I'll say on this. I didn't intend for this to be a "preppy" blog war, but we as a blogging community should be lifting each other up and not tearing down for the sake of humor. Despite our differencs, we are all just women blogging.

MODG said...

ok my turn friends and better friends,

I agree. The link and the mean comments were too much. Sometimes I think everyone has thick skin like me and gets funny things. Usually people don't. Apparently especially pink and green people. But as soon as I was sober, I took it down. When people asked I didn't give it them.

yet somehow I was still called a "sicko", "cruel" a "bully" a "bitch" and an "attacker"

Like I said, if you can dish it you better take it. Hard.

SLynnRo said...

You were called those things BEFORE you took those items down.

MODG said...

now who is drunk?
LAST comment (or at least ignorant one) was made in the evening and post was taken down in the morning.

booz hound.

I am Trish Marie said...

To Mojito Maven, if you believed that we should be "lifting each other up and not tearing down," then why didn't you just simply state that. By going there and calling her a bitch, you did exactly what you accused her of doing. It's pretty hard to make a point while acting like a hypocrite.

As to the whole situation, I am pretty sure she meant it all as a joke. I highly doubt she meant for people to really go bash this random lady. Unfortunately that happened. I don't think that makes her bad or mean. Perhaps a little careless, but aren't we all sometimes?

MODG said...

oh, and that was the sicko one. my favorite.

Sarah RDH said...

1. Way to have your girls back. I like it.

2. Does anyone REALLY care about other ppl's likes/dislikes? Stupid question, obviously they do, otherwise MODG wouldn't have gotten the responses like that! I don't. We're all different & human & all of those beautiful sparkle heartsy things, so I think ppl should agree to disagree. (Like in marriage....ha) MODG doesn't like pink & green. Cool. The pinks & greens don't like MODG. Cool. Read another blog that makes your heart feel like you're swimming in a pool of pink & green pearls.

SLynnRo said...

BY ME PERSONALLY, that was prior to you taking those items down. I don't know what other emails or comments you received. I can only speak to what I've said. I wouldn't have a problem with the post in its current form. It's not something I personally would probably write, but the post was sent to me by someone else who found it too mean in its original form, and I stand behind that opinion.

SLynnRo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SLynnRo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SLynnRo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SLynnRo said...

apologies for duplicate comments. internet is spotty.

MODG said...

SlynnRo I think I see a REALLY sparkly pink and green friendship in our future.

http://www.jewelrypayless.com/Ladies-Sterling-Silver-Best-Friend-Heart-Fashion-Pendant-Necklace-P105550.html

Cee said...

I feel like any one of us has the right to write anything we want on our blogs. And anyone who reads what we write has the right to disagree and comment to that affect.

When you put yourself out there people may criticize you, in a joking fashion (as was the case with MODG’s post about the preppy blogger) or seriously (which also happens.) If you don't want to be out there, make your blog private. The fact that the preppy blogger in question hasn’t commented through all this makes me think she probably either realizes it was a joke, or just doesn’t care.

MODG is a very sarcastic blog. If you don’t like it, read something else.

Hopefully, that makes sense. I felt like I needed to say something after the last comment I left. To MM, I should have read the comments on the original MODG post and realized why you (and SLynnRo) were getting called out. I thought that line was unrelated which made me curious. That is the only reason why I asked Sarah, maybe that was wrong or gossipy of me, I didn’t mean it that way. My question is irrelevant now.

Milltini said...

If you don't like it, don't read it...that's my motto. People need to learn to leave it alone. I mean, really? Is something you read on the interwebs really worth getting all worked up about? Oy vey...

ZDub said...

DAMN. I can't believe this is over here now.

I need a safe room.

MODG calls me out for being a shitty Mom all the time and no one freaked. I guess I should go get a pink/green handbag and then we could have a parade in my honor because MODG is a total MEAN BEOTCH.

Love you girls, mean it.

Jennifer said...

wow it looks like i've missed a lot while i've been gone.

Mrs. Bear said...

Some people are so stupid - and should keep their stupid comments to themselves. I love you and MODG - whoever doesn't love the two of you should just go take a long walk off a short pier. =0)

Jenni said...

Sarah! Your just jealouse you ain't got no hate comments on your chat room. I feel sorry for you're fianceee.




:D

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

I am so with you on this one. I thought her post wasn't mean at all. In fact, I was quite surprised with those comments. People need to get a life.

Becki Jacket said...

Plenty of people can get offended at what I write on my blog. But I don't care. If they don't like it, they don't have to read it. Freedom of Speech for Christ's Sakes!

champagneblonde said...

Love it. Let's face it-this is almost as good as the pret musings fiasco-now THAT was taken too seriously!

MiMi said...

I love MODG. And if I didn't before, I swear to all preppy pink and green shit, I bust a nut every freakin' time I think about that post today with the cats and she says that one cat tells the other cat he's gonna "murder your face." Why does this crack my shit up?? I don't know!
But I always read MODG and read your comments and you both crack me up.
Except, holy crap, you totally just threw Nickelback under the bus for no reason. That's uncalled for. Snort.

Rach said...

YOU GUYS! This is like our own little version of The Outsiders! Those preppy bitc... uhh, ladies are totally the Socs! And us snark-loving gym-sweating black-wearing sailor-mouth-having girls are SO the Greasers!

*snorrrrrrrrt*

Hey, um, hypersensitive girls? Remember that time we all wore flat pointy square hats, with those matching choir robes and they handed each of us a little folder with our names in it? Yeah. Graduation typically means that high school is over.

I would like very much to buy MODG and Sarah and myself a round of mojitos... so we could ignore the tray and order double tequila shots, and then I'll them the story of my triumph over a former boss who couldn't get out of high school. You girls busy this weekend? :)

Morgan said...

LOOOOOOVE you for posting this. Seriously, the drama over at MODG was ridiculous and I kind of loved it. They were obviously new girls.

MORE DRAMA PLEASE. thx

Rach said...

Also: I could hug you for the mention of grammar; I would like to add a basic mastery of language to my list of desirables.

For example, one such blogger claims to love stationary (sic)... but stationEry is what you use to write lEtters, while stationAry is where you Are located.

Not the same, sweetie.

landlocked bride said...

THANK YOU!

And, for the bloggers who get offended, there is this thing called a delete button. Just delete the comments rather than start drama. Just a thought.

Kristin said...

GEESH. What did I miss while I was gone? You know I've got both your backs!

PeaceLoveApplesauce said...

AMEN SISTA!

mamagooch said...

I dig this. People are far too sensitive in this world. They need to get over themselves.

AVY said...

But being a bitch sometimes feels soooo good.

At least I'm skinny said...

OMG, the drama is continued over here, too? This is better than tv.

CRAZY.

Jane @ Wishful Thinking said...

NEWSFLASH: being a bitch to someone you think was a bitch doesn't make you right either. <==== That gets a high five.

Nikosmommy said...

I've been watching this whole drama unfold over the last few days. Very entertaining SLynnRO and MODG, Bravo!!!

Kim said...

"Here is a comment that were left on her post:"

I love your blog, but is this proper grammar?

None said...

Why are YOU inserting yourself in this?

You have a pattern: You see lots of attention being paid to other bloggers, and you are compelled to stand up, wave your hands frantically, and screech "But what about ME?!?!?"

It's sometimes embarrassing reading your blog, and your comments on other people's blogs. The neediness, the desperate attempts at jokes to grab the attention back to you, always to you. It's like watching a standup comedian bomb.

Carol {Everyday Delights} said...

Oh my gosh I just discovered MODG blog and I can't believe someone wrote that! Her blog is so funny! That comment was just mean!

d.a.r. said...

I just found your blog {seriously, have I been living under a rock??} and nearly peed my pants reading this. Thank you, thank you, thank you for posting this.

I nearly died reading the "THEY ARE AWFUL AND SHOULD HAVE TO SPEND THE REST OF THEIR LIVES LISTENING TO NICKLEBACK" comment, ha!