Monday, March 22, 2010

Wedding Update.

Hi. Remember that time I said I was going to post more? Me neither. But I'm here.

I promised last week that I would talk about the whole garter toss thing and why it isn't for me, but first an update (on wedding shenanigans).

I've decided I should take some time during all of this unemployment nonsense to convince someone to bake us a cake and put together some flowers. I should also find someone to deal with my makeup and my hair. Suggestions? Send them my way.

I have ordered (and picked up) invitations. Sent out save the dates. Bought wedding shoes for myself. Picked up the bridesmaids dresses.

And now? Now I wait. And wait.

Some days October seems a LONG way off.


One thing that was apparently very hard for people to grasp was the fact that I refuse to do a garter toss. I'm not sure why but people (imaginary internet people and family and everyone else) seems to get bent out of shape when I announce that I am not letting S toss my garter (that just sounds dirty), but nearly every time I mention it, I get a crazy look or a "Why not?  It's tradition!  You LOVE tradition!"

That's right, I do love tradition.  I love the idea of something old, something new.  But the garter is just too much for me.  (Same goes for the unity candle but that's a different story for a different day.)

In my original post on the matter I said: "Here is the thing: I'm not into PDAs in general, let alone INVITING my brand-new husband to go up my dress in front of all of our friends and family. Nothing about that to me sounds fun. Would you let your husband reach up your dress at the family reunion? (If your answer is yes, please find another blog. Thanksomuch.) I don't see how this shit is any different."

I've been to plenty of weddings where a garter toss was the norm.  I have seen grooms climb up a bride's dress and I have seen it where they just have an extra garter on hand.  Either way, I think it's tacky.  And I don't want something I find tacky at OUR WEDDING.

As a matter of fact, I do not even plan to wear a garter at all.  It's not my thing.

I am pretty sure S could absolutely care less about any of this garter nonsense, but it doesn't hurt my case that almost all of his male friends (and a lot of mine as well) who will be at the wedding are married.



When I originally posted this last month, Maggie left a great comment (and it's great advice for every bride):

"Totally with you here.

Wedding "traditions" that we skipped:
- Bouquet toss
- Garter toss
- Father walking down the aisle
- Veil
- Minister
- Wedding cake
- Wedding favors

He even snuck into bed with me the night before. Screw not seeing each other - it's the only way we were going to get a good night's sleep.

Point is, we eliminated everything that felt icky and fake to us, and concentrated on making it the most "us" we could. And our wedding rocked because of that.

Go with your gut."


More questions?  Feel free to leave them in the comments (and I promise to be better about getting to them...sorry for the delay Brown Girl)

sarah (signature)

32 comments:

Karls said...

I'm so with you! I've only ever been to one wedding that did the garter thing... that's it!

I slept at home with my husband the night before too. Also, didn't wear white, didn't cut the cake (had ferrero rochers double dipped in white choc - so no cake), didn't throw the bouquet, had no bridesmaids, stand up reception, no bridal dance and a 6 minute ceremony from start to finish. And, may I say, it's was and effing AWESOME day!

Kait said...

I slept with my groom the night before the wedding. Like down and dirty slept with him. Dude. Weddings are stressful. We needed the break.

Also? I felt the same way as you about the garter toss. I didn't want my new husband all up in my bidness while my grandmothers watched. We skipped wedding favors, garter toss, bouquet toss and the kissing on command during the wedding dinner. A lot of people came out for my wedding and I wanted to talk to them, not stop every ten seconds to make out with my new husband in front of them.

I plan on only getting married once and I wasn't about to do anything I didn't want to do. It's your wedding. Make it exactly what you want it to be.

Kaela said...

I'm surprised you're catching so much flack for it. I've been to a lot of weddings now and they don't always do the bouquet/garter toss. I've also been to one where I caught the bouquet (I didn't care about it until some girl said I was going down so I caught it just to piss her off), and I can say that having a STRANGER go up my dress to put it on is far worse.

It's your wedding, you do what you guys want to make it the most special day ever!

Dollface said...

oh wow, mine is in October too!!! and I agree 100% with the garter toss... who needs it? its cheap, its tacky, and no thank you.... its dated. But I think the bouquet toss is nice for the single girls and I have always wanted to do it :) xxxooo

Cee said...

I am so with you on the garter toss. It's tacky. Like the chicken dance. Neither will be at my future wedding.

SG said...

The last two weddings I went to didn't have the bouquet or garter toss and it definitely was NOT missed. I won't be doing either at my wedding either though I may wear a garter just for my fiance to find at the end of the night :)

Sole Matters said...

Im such a lil kid..i totally LOLd at the "I am not letting S toss my garter" part. I agree, do what YOU want, its YOUR wedding. I also think its smart to sleep together (as in, the same bed, no sex) the night before. ESP. if you already sleep in the same bed together. Its hard to fall asleep if that's the norm and he isn't there.

Krysta said...

I am right there with you on the garter toss. No thank you. I find it uncomfortable to watch, I certainly don't want to sit there while my family watches it happen to me. I'm up in the air on the bouquet toss. No unity candle. No combining of the sand. No dad giving me away. I think weddings are meant to be personal and reflections of the couple getting married. So pick and choose which traditions you want to incorporate and do away with any you don't like. And have fun!

Maggie said...

Glad you're still feeling that advice and doing your own thing - make it work! (Fine, I watched two episodes of Project Runway last night.)

Emily said...

Cheesy things at weddings:
- garter toss
- bouquet toss
- DJs with line dancing, the conga line or any other terrible dance
- overly done hair
- tiaras
- color coordinated vests/ties in colors like tiffany blue...gag
- too many bridesmaids to count
- unity candle

i could go on and on....

amy kelinda said...

Hey, if people want to do a garter toss, go for it. If they don't, who cares? I hope no one REALLY got bent out of shape when you said you didn't want to do a garter toss at YOUR wedding -- I mean, it's YOUR wedding. If they really want a garter toss so bad, they can do it at their's. Just sayin'.

Britney said...

I am not a fan of the garter toss either! My husband and I skipped it at our wedding as well as the bouquet toss. To us it was more important to get the party started than following tradition. Immediately after dinner we cut the cake so we could spend the rest of the night dancing!

No matter what you choose to do or not choose to do it will be fabulous because it is YOUR WEDDING! Congratulations:)

Clemson Girl said...

I didn't wear a veil and the hubs side of the family had a hissy. Not sure why people are so opinionated about an event that isn't theirs. Definitely supporting you in what *you* want to do. Have fun!

Laurel said...

Yeah wedding update... you know I was just waiting for this!!! I think I said it before but I totally agree that the garter toss should be at a bachelor/bachelortte party not at a wedding. Could not agree with you more. As for traditions goign out the window Justin is going with me to pick out my wedding dress Friday. Why you ask. Because really on the day of our wedding as long as I look Amazing to him really that is all I care about.

Laurel said...

hate the kissing on command too.

ZDub said...

If you get along with your father, I disagree about letting him walk you down the aisle. I didn't let him walk me down the aisle for my first wedding and now that he has passed away, I so wish I would have.

(Researching pageants again today.)

ZDub said...

I meant I disagree about NOT letting him walk you down the aisle.

landlocked bride said...

You know I'm behind you a million percent on this one. We're not doing a garter or bouquet toss, no unity candle, we're seeing each other beforehand (and pretty sure we'll probably sleep in the same bed the night before), my aunt is officiating our wedding, I definitely will not have a veil.

Weddings are so much more fun when it captures the personality of the couple - so I definitely say do whatever makes you two happy!

jules said...

I'm soo with you. Its tacky. As someone who just got engaged last night (I KNOW! Right?!?!) I know that nobody will be throwing anything at anybody at my wedding. No garters, flowers or cake! Stand by what you want!

Aly said...

You're classy! Who can blame you?!?

Sarah RDH said...

I think unity candles are fucking retarded, bc I wtached some show that said in no religion is the unity candle an actual symbol, it's just some made up shit. I ONLY did it to make my ceremony longer. It was about 15 min. Thank God. lol

Kiera said...

totally tacky. at weddings i always have to look away (blushing) becasue I'm so embarassed for all involved.

kanishk said...

Glad you're still feeling that advice and doing your own thing - make it work! (Fine, I watched two episodes of Project Runway last night.)
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I am Trish Marie said...

For hair and makeup. You want Leah. She did my hair and makeup, plus we went to high school together.
http://yourbeautifulfaceco.com/default.aspx


We did not do the garter toss/ bouquet toss. Reason? I have approximately three single friends, and they threatened to kill me if I called them out like that. Plus, it is always my least favorite part of a wedding. Nobody cares who catches that thing, but you have to act like it. I am not into audience participation.

Kelly @ Dare to be Domestic said...

The more I read about this the less I'm into this tradition. I love the flower toss. It's fun, a bit embarrassing for single ladies sometimes (I used to hide in the bathroom during this part of the reception). And I never enjoyed actually catching it and being forced to have some strange man put a garter on me... I say well played girl!

Kristin said...

I walked down the aisle all by my lonesome much to many family members' dismay. It was right for me. Always go with your guy. That's advice go be followed!

Carol {Everyday Delights} said...

I'm not doing a garter toss either!!

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Ms. Wife of the Year said...

I didn't even wear a garter. I hate them. I was guilted into tossing my bouquet though. Not as bad as I thought it would be....

FashionAddict said...

I will always remember that my hubby left his friends and snuck home to sleep with me in the wee hours of the morning. It was just so sweet. And yeah, it's your wedding, not anyone elses, so you need to make yourself happy.

Milltini said...

screw the garter toss if you dont want it--the day should be all about your every whim and desire...err and S too. Ha.

Miss E said...

I might have said this before, but I'm so with you. No bouquet toss, no garter toss, no veil, no chicken dance (or YMCA, macarena, etc). We slept at home in our bed the night before and saw each other to take pictures during the day before the ceremony. We had two ministers and I wore two dresses. I'm all for tradition, but I also wanted to do it our way. I have no regrets at all and we're going on 5 years. Do it how you want it - it's your day.