Saturday night was THE NIGHT.
Amanda was all freaked out by rape, but I was more concerned with murder. There are lots of alleys and shit in New York and B seemed very tall (which = being really awesome at hiding bodies). The really good amazing news is that neither of them turned out to be murderers. At least not yet.
But here's the thing. I hope they don't turn out to be murderers because they were both so fantastic that I would feel bad testifying against them. Shit, I really hope they don't end up killing me. That would be so awkward.
There is a lot of pressure on an internet bestie meeting. We talk pretty much daily (on the internet, duh) and help each other with super important decisions, like what we should pack before trips and is it appropriate to pack a lookbook (answer = yes). Or where the biggest Forever 21 in California is. So if this didn't go well, I would have a major case of the sads and no one to talk to during the day if I ever find another job.
I feel a little bit bad that I disappointed her with my lack of Texas accent. I did manage to drop a y'all though, which I think impressed her. And S (the non-Texan) explained the usage of "y'all" versus "all y'all." Intriguing dinner conversation to say the least.
And for the record, I didn't eat a baby. Neither did S. We had totally normal things (I had some fish, he had some steak) and MODG was not lying when she said she basically ate off the kids menu. She asked for chicken tenders, but the waiter said no, so she was sad and B ordered some sort of piglet/baby chick thing that was the SUPER FANCIEST THING ON THE MENU.
Then S ordered lots of beers for B.
And Amanda rubbed her ass in a stranger's face (no she wasn't lying about that on her blog. +458 awesome points for her).
Then when the boys were paying the bill, B is all "Is it time for a photoshoot?" (+64 cool points for him) And we are all, "No, not in here" acting like we are totally modest. Then MODG is all "Why would we even take pictures, I can't put your face on the blog?!" (she says this to me) and S goes "SURE YOU CAN!" (he didn't ask me)
So then we walked outside, literally blocked the door and had a 5 minute photo shoot (including some with my camera that look like a drunk took them because I don't have a fancy professional one that requires me to carry it in a big ass purse).
Then the poop/fart cramps started (hers, not mine)and the toilet at the restaurant had a gangsta lean so they had to bail.
When they got in cab, S and I went to a bar called Asian (it was totally fate...literally right across the street from where we ate) to celebrate my very first internet meeting.
His verdict: "She looks way less Asian in person. They can totally come to the wedding."
P.S. If you go to her blog to see my face, please note that I am not pregnant and neither of our faces are that shiny in real life. Thanks for understanding.
Oh and P.P.S. those aren't leggings. Those are my FANCY PANTS.
1 month ago