Wednesday, March 31, 2010

An Open Letter.

Dear Santa Barbara,

Thank you so much for hosting S and I a couple of weeks ago. We had an amazing time visiting you and hope to eventually make it back there. Despite the creepy/weird/maybe-a-kidnapper-but-I'm-not-really-sure-and-don't-want-to-judge Italian teenager running the front desk at check-in, the bed & breakfast (once again, after a rocky start with a funny smell) ended up being perfect. It wasn't their fault that the last few times we have picked completely random hotels off the internet based on Google Maps and pretty pictures they were absolutely perfect. Your friend and neighbor Los Olivos was pretty amaze balls too. Great wine and nice people.

I liked you. I really did. I even liked you so much I recommended you to my friend MODG (maybe when she's in a famous H&M ad she can do her shoot with you).

Santa Barbara, you and I both know you're gorgeous, so I will just cut to the chase...

Before our trip everyone asked if we had done any traveling in California. I explained and so did S. When we mentioned our last trip was to Laguna Beach, everyone turned their noses up at us. Called us yuppies and snobs. According to everyone, Laguna Beach is too rich. Basically a suburb for LA. Everyone said nothing could beat the "artist hamlet" that is Santa Barbara. So quaint. Perfect small town. On and on and on everyone went.

Well, Santa Barbara, everyone is a liar. When State Street includes a Saks Fifth Avenue, Forever 21 and multiple Starbucks, you are no longer allowed to call yourself "quaint." Not even an artist beach fair will help you claim that title. No, I am not arguing with good shopping. I love good shopping just about as much as I love wine and babies, but a Macy's and an Restoration Hardware are sort of the anti-artist.

You do have gorgeous mountain views and badass beach scenery, so no worries, we'll be back.

Until next time...



sarah (signature)

Tuesday, March 30, 2010


The one advantage of being unemployed is that it really frees up your schedule to do totally random crap during the day that you never had time to do when you were employed. Like go to 4 TJMaxxs in a row with your little sister. And find shit like this on the shelf.

Be back with a real post later.*

*Later might be tomorrow.

sarah (signature)

Monday, March 22, 2010

Wedding Update.

Hi. Remember that time I said I was going to post more? Me neither. But I'm here.

I promised last week that I would talk about the whole garter toss thing and why it isn't for me, but first an update (on wedding shenanigans).

I've decided I should take some time during all of this unemployment nonsense to convince someone to bake us a cake and put together some flowers. I should also find someone to deal with my makeup and my hair. Suggestions? Send them my way.

I have ordered (and picked up) invitations. Sent out save the dates. Bought wedding shoes for myself. Picked up the bridesmaids dresses.

And now? Now I wait. And wait.

Some days October seems a LONG way off.

One thing that was apparently very hard for people to grasp was the fact that I refuse to do a garter toss. I'm not sure why but people (imaginary internet people and family and everyone else) seems to get bent out of shape when I announce that I am not letting S toss my garter (that just sounds dirty), but nearly every time I mention it, I get a crazy look or a "Why not?  It's tradition!  You LOVE tradition!"

That's right, I do love tradition.  I love the idea of something old, something new.  But the garter is just too much for me.  (Same goes for the unity candle but that's a different story for a different day.)

In my original post on the matter I said: "Here is the thing: I'm not into PDAs in general, let alone INVITING my brand-new husband to go up my dress in front of all of our friends and family. Nothing about that to me sounds fun. Would you let your husband reach up your dress at the family reunion? (If your answer is yes, please find another blog. Thanksomuch.) I don't see how this shit is any different."

I've been to plenty of weddings where a garter toss was the norm.  I have seen grooms climb up a bride's dress and I have seen it where they just have an extra garter on hand.  Either way, I think it's tacky.  And I don't want something I find tacky at OUR WEDDING.

As a matter of fact, I do not even plan to wear a garter at all.  It's not my thing.

I am pretty sure S could absolutely care less about any of this garter nonsense, but it doesn't hurt my case that almost all of his male friends (and a lot of mine as well) who will be at the wedding are married.

When I originally posted this last month, Maggie left a great comment (and it's great advice for every bride):

"Totally with you here.

Wedding "traditions" that we skipped:
- Bouquet toss
- Garter toss
- Father walking down the aisle
- Veil
- Minister
- Wedding cake
- Wedding favors

He even snuck into bed with me the night before. Screw not seeing each other - it's the only way we were going to get a good night's sleep.

Point is, we eliminated everything that felt icky and fake to us, and concentrated on making it the most "us" we could. And our wedding rocked because of that.

Go with your gut."

More questions?  Feel free to leave them in the comments (and I promise to be better about getting to them...sorry for the delay Brown Girl)

sarah (signature)

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Miss Me?

Hey there.

I didn't forget about any of you.  I left town last Thursday for Santa Barbara and came back late Sunday night.  (The trip was fabulous, thanks for asking.  Amazing weather.  Lots of wine.  S and I had a great time.  I can  get into details later if you like.)

I came back to work Monday.  Did my thing until around 2 or 3 in the afternoon when I got called into my boss' office and was laid off because my position was being eliminated (or was it consolidated?...who knows).

I have spent most of the week trying to come up with some semblance of a resume and figure out what I am going to do.

The good news is that I was ready to let go of that old job.  I had a feeling that the lay-offs were on there way.  No idea why I didn't actually ever start looking in other places but I didn't.  I was underpaid and had the world's shittiest commute, so the way I see it, nothing but good can come from this little incident.

More good news: being unemployed gives me more time for blogging.  I'll see what I can do about posting more.  Deal?  Deal.

P.S. Brown Girl your explanation on garter toss is coming.  I was going to do it this week, but a pity party trumped blogging.  Sorry.

P.P.S. Go here and vote for Jen.   She is a badass who just so happens to have breast cancer and was nominated by her friends to walk in the Survivor Parade at the Kentucky Oaks.  It will take all of 5 seconds of your life to vote, but do yourself a favor and take an extra 45 seconds to read her story.  (And if that doesn't convince you, she promised SGM she would stalk any and all members of the Bravo family that happen to be there.)  Go.  Now.

sarah (signature)

Friday, March 12, 2010

Fun Fact Friday.

I'm not here today.  So if you see this, I'm pretty much capable of magic.  I know, I'm awesome.

I'm in Santa Barbara for the weekend, so if you don't hear from me, I'm not dead.  Please don't call the police.  Thanks in advance.

Last week, not many of you guys participated in FFF, which is pretty much bullshit.

In addition to the old rules (post a fun fact), there is a new a rule: no more facts about the length of your arm matching your foot size or licking your elbow.  No more.

Last week's fun fact comes from Llama: "More people are killed annually by donkeys than die in air crashes."

My Fun Fact is: Pigs were banished from Philadelphia’s city streets in 1710.

This confuses me...are pigs a huge problem in Philly?  I have no idea.

Leave your Fun Fact in the comments.

Anyhow...happy weekending!
sarah (signature)

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

So Close.

Last night, I was almost approached by aliens.

Or so I thought.

I was laying in bed around 11:30 PM (i.e. way past my bed time) and there was a bright beam of light and a loud noise outside my window (like something was hovering).

At first, I was really nervous to open the blinds to see what the deal was (side note: it's weird that this makes me nervous because I am constantly convinced that someone is going to break into my car so I have mastered the sneaky "open the blinds without being seen" trick), but then I remembered that MODG once taught me that if you ask an alien if they are an alien, they have to say yes.  Plus, I spend a lot of time listening to Coast to Coast AM with S, so I decided I could handle this.

Then I heard police sirens.  And I got sort of pissed that one of my asshole neighbors (who are mostly old people, except the firefighter/EMS guy and family) called the cops.  The #1 rule of aliens/ghosts is don't call the police.  They always screw it up.

N.W.A. knew what was up.  Police have no respect for aliens/ghosts.

Come to find out, it wasn't aliens at all.  It was a police helicopter trying to find someone/chase someone down.

Or at least that's what the government is telling me.

sarah (signature)

Friday, March 5, 2010

Fun Fact Friday.

After this post, I received the following comment from landlockedbride:

"Baha. I had a good found the other day which consisted of a girl in leggings that were too tight - I could see her thong. The photo didn't turn out very well though :( I was gonna send it to you and put "Found: Your underwear"

This has potentially inspired something new. Send me weird shit you see. Don't be bashful. If it's good, I'll post it, and I will give you all of the credit. I win because I'm lazy and sometimes don't know what to post. You win because you get recognition from me (which we know is all you guys really want anyway).

But on to the task at hand...

You guys know the drill.  Leave your fun fact in the comments.  As of last week, I promised I would pick a favorite.
Jane said: "Your earlobes line up with your nipples... true story."

 His piercings line up nicely with his lobes, no?

Thank you, Jane, for inspiring all of us to lock ourselves in the bathroom at work to test this theory.

Today's Fun Fact: In 2000,4,058,814 babies were born in the U.S.

Holy shit. That's a lot of babies.

Impress me with your knowledge in the comments.

Happy Weekending!

sarah (signature)

Tuesday, March 2, 2010


This was found in the window of the same hospital gift shop where I found this.  So maybe that's why I find it so strange.  I get it.  It's telling you to blow out the birthday candle.  But still...weird.
sarah (signature)