Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Wedding Registries v. Baby Registries

When S an I got married, I was fortunate that everyone around me had already gotten married (literally, every one of my college girlfriends was married/had been married for a while and a majority of the girls I knew from high school were married...only in Texas, I guess). I didn't really care what other people thought as far as the wedding was concerned (I knew what I wanted...sorry I'm not sorry), but they were all great about what I should and shouldn't register for.

Don't get the bread maker. Do get the ice cream maker...it's so amazing and you guys will use it all the time! And on and on and on this went. (Side note: I got neither the bread maker nor the ice cream maker.  I also neglected to register for the rice cooker.  So far, no one in our house has died.  Yet.)

Wedding registries are easy. How big is our house? Do we have room to fit this crap? Do we really need a Kitchen-aid Stand Mixer? (Answer: YES) You answer those questions and then you pick the things that you think look the cutest with your other crap. And then you start stalking your registry to see when people bought you stuff wait patiently for the gifts to come in.  Simple.

The rules are so simple.  Register for so many things depending on how many people you are inviting/showers you are having/whatever the formula is you're supposed to follow.

{ Someone really sent me this as part of the wedding planning process.  You know, so we could figure out which wine glasses really went with our lifestyle? Yeah, I don't know either. }


Then comes the baby registry. This is much much trickier (probably because no one has sent me a sensible graphic demonstrating different parenting styles).

In my experience, most everyone has very specific ideas of what will be right for their baby.  If you don't get an angry response for not agreeing, then you typically get the look that says "hope you've been saving for therapy for that kid..."  No one tells you that you will get a divorce if you don't register for sterling silver (we didn't).  All of my girlfriends who were oh-so-helpful with wedding planning/registry, all have very specific ideas on babies (and yes, just about everyone has babies...some of them have more than one).  No two people said similar things.  Even people who chose the same product, chose them for totally different reasons.  And THERE ARE SO MANY CHOICES!  Literally, I looked at the different types of carriers...no clue where to even start. 

One friend of mine told me (with a straight face) that I would need no less than 4 strollers to be functional with a baby.  FOUR STROLLERS?!?!?  In her mind, each had a very different purpose and none of those could overlap.  Look, I'm not judging knocking it...it has worked well for her.  (Side note: she registered for FIVE different sets of china, you know, just in case, so maybe this was my fault for even asking to begin with.) 

And with wedding registries, you are picking gifts for adults.  Consenting adults.  If it turns out you don't like the blender, you deal with it or you get a new one.  It's not a thing.  BUT OH MY GOD WHAT IF THE BABY HATES EVERY SINGLE BOTTLE/PACIFIER/SWING/TOY/HIGH CHAIR YOU BUY FOR HIM/HER?!?!  THEN WHAT?!?!?

 { laser eyes is what }

BABY REGISTRIES ARE JUST SO MUCH DAMN PRESSURE!

All this is to say, what should we register for?  What can't we live without? (Incorrect answer: four different strollers)  Feel free to give me all of your reasons in the comments. 


sarah (signature)

13 comments:

Drew said...

I gave my SIL the Puj tub insert and she loved it when my nephew was little. It's soft and fits in a sink. When your done you can hang it flat or store it in a closet.

The carriers seem to be totally personality dependent. . . One of my SIL is very anal and adores the Baby Bjorn. My close friend swears by the Ergo because it's functional for longer and her son likes to be carried in it on her back.

Strollers? Good luck. Just get the one *you* like the most. Most people I know did end up with 2+ strollers for whatever reason.

Check out Momma's Gone City for great product reviews and what she uses.

http://www.mommasgonecity.com/

I use her reviews when shopping for baby shower gifts.

Good luck!

Jill said...

I only have one stroller, the kind that fits with a carseat, but some of number friends wear by jogging strollers. What stinks is you can't know what your baby will like. Mine hates napping in pack n plays and swings but loves her crib and rock n play. I registered for the miracle blanket but Leila hates being swaddled. I'm glad I registered for all those things though because otherwise I'd never know if they'd have worked. I would highly recommend breathable bumpers, an angel care monitor, and a video monitor. Those 3 things have provided me the sanity I need to shower and get things done around the house. I never thought I'd be the mom that freaks about sids but I am, and like I said, those provide sanity! Good luck :-)

novamomblog.com said...

Get the book Baby Bargains. It helped me immensely! The authors "grade" ALL the baby stuff to help you pick what is best for YOU. It makes the process much less painful. :)

novamomblog.com said...

Oh also... I have three strollers. The City Mini (registered for this) - it's GREAT b/c it's lightweight and has a one-handed fold. I also have a little umbrella stroller I keep in the car that I got for $20 at BRU. Then a few months ago I scored a jogging stroller on Craigslist for $35 so I could take her on runs. But I just joined a gym so the stroller sits in the garage. oh well!

Clemson Girl said...

I recommend the city mini stroller. It's the only stroller we've ever used since it is so light and easy. We got the bar attachment so the car seat can be locked on.

Kate said...

I don't actually have the baby yet, so I have no idea whether I am the Best Baby Register-er EVER or That Mom Who Picked Shit Her Baby Hates, but I'll share my method.

I knew we were only having one shower, so we really just went for the essentials. (Although, for a baby, "the essentials" still seems like a whole lotta crap!) I picked the biggest stuff (infant carseat, carrier, stroller, swing, pack-n-play, etc) by consulting the Baby Bargains Book and Lucie's List (SIGN UP FOR LUCIE'S LIST - I love that Lucie, she's free, and she sends you informational e-newsletters and she cusses on occasion - lucieslist.com) and then by running the top 2 or 3 suggestions by A FEW trusted mom friends. Sometimes the mom friends had totally different opinions and I just basically picked the thing I liked best.

For stuff that seemed more "baby personality specific" (infant carrier, bottles, pacifiers, swaddle blankets / sleep sacks), I just put one or two of the top recommended items (again, BB book, Lucie's List, select group of mom friends) on our registry. Yes, we will need more than 5 bottles, but if she hates the 2 brands I selected initially, at least we haven't invested in a whole set. If she loves them, we'll go buy more of that brand.

I've also heard BBB and BRU are both really good about store credit for opened items so long as you have your original packaging and the item didn't go in the baby's mouth. So I'm keeping the boxes for our Ergo, swing, bouncer, etc in hopes that I can get some store credit if my child ends up hating our initial selections.

That was long-winded. Awesome.

Godspeed!

Kate said...

Oh. Also. Strollers... I knew I wanted one to exercise with that would also be functional for errands (no armada of strollers for me). I ended up with the Bumbleride Indie after looking at the Baby Jogger City Select and the BOB. I REALLY love how it maneuvers and it is lighter and (I think) easier to fold up than the City or the BOB. If you are some badass marathoner, the BOB is probably a better choice for exercise, but I think the Indie is going to work just swimmingly for my needs. You also don't have to buy a separate car seat adapter for it - comes with. We also got a Snap-n-Go for quick errands when she is really little. That combo (all-terrain/jogging + snap-n-go) seemed to be the most recommended by my friends.

"Julie" said...

have you registered for a rhodesian ridgeback????

tee hee. i knew you'd appreciate that.

seeing as i have no baby, i can't help you here!!!

i'll ask a certain special friend of ours to pipe in though, I'M SURE she'll have PLENTY to say....

sending you lots of love and brooch bouquets....

ZDub said...

Register for wine, beer, and vodka.

Trust me.

Kelly @ Dare to be Domestic said...

FIRST OFF CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! YAY!

Second I have no input into this because I just got married and know nada about babies - minus the fact that you'll want to put a ton of burp cloths on your registry and diapers I'm at a loss :)

That being said - you know my friends were all married when I made my registry my MOH busted on me for having 5 different sets of bedding on my registry. To be fair, ones I wanted kept getting discontinued... and then after it was all said and done NO ONE got us bedding, or sheets or even towels. Aren't those like the GO TO items you get for newly weds? That was the shiz we needed!

P.S. What we did get was a TON of drinking stuff - glasses, openers, mixers, etc... and yet, we don't own a bar to house all this awesome stuff.

Yeah, I just helped you zero!

Kelly @ Dare to be Domestic said...

p.s. Z is on the right track!

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Tiffany said...

Don't get a Baby Bjorn. They're bad for the baby's hips (and they'll kill your back). Google "crotch danglers." I like the Beco Gemini.